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Man! It has been awhile. I really appreciate your looking after the place while I've been gone. Everything looks terrific. Seriously - the chrysanthemums would have been withered shadows of their former selves in my care. Even my goldfish seem perkier. I can't thank you enough.

So take a load off! Make yourself comfortable! I'll make coffee.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

nine elements of the master plan


  • find 599 other guys to ride into Valley of Death
  • evil twins
  • tie sheets together, drop them out window and shimmy down after bed check
  • annex Poland
  • throw toaster in bathtub so it looks like heart failure
  • after henchman crushes Bond, irradiate US gold supply at Fort Knox
  • gather 10,000 Mongol warriors to storm city
  • burglarize Watergate Hotel
  • rent ancient god Mohotec costume to frighten Scoob and those meddling kids away from Aztec treasure

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